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reflection |
day in the life
Highlighting
the everyday life of a couple living well with a slow-growing cancer.
Life isn’t
always easy, and there will certainly be sorrows and losses
along the way. But being alive is good. It is very good.
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Thursday, Dec
31, 2009
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All
the facts are true
We cancelled plans to visit family in Northern
California. Snow is steadily falling on top of snow,
and more is expected over the next few days. Our
4-wheel drive vehicle is 15 years old, so Gary
decides we should stay safe and warm (it’s probably
a good thing that at least one of us is thinking
responsibly on any given day).
I
talked with my sister-in-law yesterday afternoon.
They have a dinner party planned for New Year’s Day
… except now the guests of honor won’t be here,
she says. She also tells me that my niece was going
to give me a pedicure at the salon where she works.
I sure hope she does rain checks. |
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OK, so the snowshoes are a bit of an
overkill … but at least I’m not in pajamas |
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This particular
sister-in-law made a German chocolate cake one year for
Christmas when their girls were young. She wouldn’t let her
husband (Gary’s brother) have a piece until after the
celebration in honor of the birthday of Jesus. Not a problem. He
was sure to get a couple pieces in his lunch box in the coming
days.
A week passed
before Gary’s brother thought to ask one of his daughters,
“Whatever happened to that chocolate cake?”
“Mommy ate all the frosting and threw the cake away,” she
replied, as if that was the most natural thing in the world to
do.
My sister-in-law will deny this story, but all the facts are
true!
Today
we’ll hunker down near the fireplace. Gary’s working on a web
design and I’ve got a writing project. And, if I ever decide to
get out of my pajamas, Gary and I will snowshoe over to Starbux
for Chai tea.
Happy New Year’s Eve!
Comment
Sunday, Dec 27,
2009
No-el, no-whale
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We’ve been holed away in
a cute little space – overstuffed sofa and chairs
facing the Pacific Ocean, fireplace lit, and the
cutest little kitchen with its mini-appliances.
Christmas dinner was not
so traditional this year. We brought a roasted
chicken, heated up veggies and threw together a
fruit salad. A local store sells “ice cream” made
from coconut milk, which we smothered on top of a
baked apple dessert from home. |
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A
mini-Christmas on the Oregon coast |
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We never come to the
coast without eating at least once at Mo’s, home of
the best clam chowder ever. I texted all four
of our kids last night from the restaurant: “Guess
where we are? Hint: world’s best clam chowder.”
Our daughter texted back
from New Jersey: “You’re in Boston??” (She thinks
she’s funny.) |
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Mo’s - better clam chowder than Boston |
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We’re a bit early for the
annual north-to-south whale migration, but there are a few whales
that stay in the Newport area year round. Gary
stands at the window staring out to sea through binoculars
and announces, “No-el” ... as in
“no-whale.”
(You see what I have to
put up with?)
So there you have it – a
delicious Christmas dinner with our mini-Christmas
tree lit and views of the Pacific Ocean crashing
just below our balcony.
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Friendly Newport neighbor |
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It doesn’t get much better than this.
Comment
Thursday, Dec
24, 2009
Mountain snob
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You’ve heard of coffee
snobs? I’m a mountain snob. There are places within
the city limits of our hometown where you can see
all the way from Mt. Bachelor in the south to Mt.
Hood near Portland for a total of nine distinct
peaks that rise above the Cascade Range—ten, if you
count Black Butte. And several of them sporting winter
white most of the year. |
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On our way through Central Oregon to the coast |
Gary and I are on the
Oregon coast for the four-day Christmas weekend. The drive
earlier today took us through a winter wonderland and over the
Santiam Pass – elevation 4,817 feet. We crossed a lush green
valley (lush and green because it rains practically 24/7 there),
and then drove over the coastal range.
The State of Oregon
posts green highway signs indicating the elevation at all the
significant mountain passes. The road from Corvallis to the
Pacific Ocean summits at 337 feet over the shoulder of Pioneer
Mountain.
It was rather rude of
me, but I laughed out loud when I first saw the elevation sign.
It’s because I’m a mountain snob.
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So how high does a mountain pass need to be for
official classification? |
(As much as we love our
Cascade Range, though, you can imagine what the folks in the
Himalayas think of Central Oregon’s puny mountains!)
Comment
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Sunday, Dec 20,
2009
Going to Hawaii
With both kids married and two spare
bedrooms, when we get the call a few years back to host an
exchange student, we say, “Why not?”
Shihoko settles in and makes
friends easily. She quickly catches on to Gary’s
incessant teasing and learns to tease back.
Toward the end of the school
year,
I ask her to write an article for the newspaper. She writes:
Before I came to America, I imagined about huge public schools,
drugs, guns, danger … and black and white people fighting. Then
I came to here. The school is so clean and safe. People are so
friendly. My host family cooks rice. I did not know American
people like rice!
After
Shihoko graduates, she keeps in touch and comes back
to visit. We get this e-mail from her this week:
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Japanese Shihoko |
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Hey it’s me. How are you? How is Gary doing? Guess what?! Here
is news to you. Finally, I am getting married in May. Do you
remember that what you said? If Shihoko gets married it is
suppose to be in Hawaii. Because Hawaii is between Japan and
America. I remember that words. So we decided to get married in
Hawaii. I want you to be there as American dad and mom. If you
are able to come, my parents want to get air tickets to you as a
gift.
She goes on to write that her fiancé works for the Ministry of
Finance and it’s a busy post so depending on what’s going on in
May, she may have to do the wedding without the groom (followed
by 3 exclamation points).
Please mark on 18th
“In
Hawaii with Shihoko.”
HA HA HA! Please say I do come Hawaii!!!!
love,
Shihoko
What else can we do but
put “in Hawaii with Shihoko” on our calendar! Who can resist her
joyful spirit and deep dimples?!
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Back when her junior year was winding down with spring activity,
Shihoko decided to return the next year. She invested in a
sleeping bag for the all-school campout and a bicycle to ride
between campus and our house.
After finals and good-by hugs for
her friends, we made a whirlwind trip up the Oregon coast on a
circuitous route to the airport. And then she was gone.
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American Shihoko |
I finally found time to edit video of her school year. I turned
the camcorder on my husband: “Honey, say something to
Shihoko.” I had in mind a few words of greeting, but true to
form he said, “Hello, Shihoko. We just wanted you to know that
we sold your bike and all your stuff.”
Shihoko
knows Gary well. In a second e-mail this week, she writes:
My
guy has really charming smile. I hope you will like him. You
better be nice to him, Gary!
Comment
Thursday, Dec
17, 2009
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Finding our own way
We were on our way home over the Santiam Pass after
a quick trip to Eugene earlier this week. I guess
you could call it a drive-by shooting – Gary slowed
down enough for me to snap a couple of photos as we
passed a half-frozen waterfall tumbling out of the
side of a mountain.
One could argue that negotiating mountain passes in
the Oregon winter to keep regular medical
appointments doesn’t
make a whole |
Santiam Pass ice sculpture |
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lot of
sense. But it came
about because of a provider/insurance issue … and now with
broader options, we have chosen to stay with an excellent
physician, despite the distance, for a number of good reasons.
Finding what works best for us.
I recently received a call from someone I had never met – a
woman newly diagnosed with cancer. She heard we had adjusted our
lifestyle, and would I have time to meet with her. Yes, of
course.
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B&N - the perfect meeting place to discuss
optimism, especially if Chai tea is involved |
Over Chai tea at Barnes & Noble, she shared what she
was doing in the nutrition department. While it’s a
bit more restricted than our simple
adjustments—we’ve basically increased our fruits,
veggies, whole grains and legumes, and have
eliminated unhealthy fats and sugars—she was finding
her own way.
I loved her optimism, and she thanked me for my encouraging
words. |
Of course, anything carried
to the extreme isn’t
necessarily healthy, but
I love hearing about people who, in the face of challenges,
choose a proactive stance.
Finding our own way instead of giving up.
Comment
Sunday, Dec 13,
2009
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It’s just a number
You’d think that once the temperature got down so
low – say, around zero – it would just all be so
cold that you couldn’t really tell much difference
between cold and colder. But when you step outdoors
and your jeans turn instantly icy against your legs,
you get a more defined view of the difference
between 8 degrees … and 8 degrees below. (Note to
self: Don’t wear jeans when it’s zero or below.) |
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In the
almost 8 years we've lived in Bend, we've never seen
the Deschutes River freeze up |
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Our hometown of Bend boasted record low temperatures this past
week. Beautiful, white fluffy stuff covered the ground, which
meant my personal chauffeur (that would be Gary) dropped me off
and picked me up at the front door of work. Instead of walking
from the far hospital parking lot. A girl could get spoiled.
Speaking of numbers, Gary got his latest PSA numbers this week.
Still really low … but still edging upward. After our
appointment with Dr. Beer at OHSU last month, though, the rising
number doesn’t have as much power to instill fear as it once
did.
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Racing upstairs carrying bikes -
who
makes this stuff up?! |
And speaking of cold weather and the culture of our
hometown—an outdoor-loving, extreme sport, mountain
resort area—Bend is hosting the
USA Cycling National Cyclo-Cross
Championships this weekend.
That’s where crazy people race their bikes in the
snow and ice and mud and, from time to time, jump
off their bikes and carry them over obstacles or up
a flight of stairs.
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Judging from the
mud-splattered grimaces of the participants, it
didn’t look as if anyone was having fun ... but it was sure fun
to watch!
Comment
Sunday, Dec
6, 2009
Seasons of
Christmas
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Our daughter reported from New Jersey that “the ‘ol
tree behind the couch trick isn’t working this
year.” Kids at Christmastime
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I wish I had that problem!
Christmases past, we’d pack up our little ones,
tramp out into the woods for an evergreen, and
decorate the house to the smell of apple cider
simmering on the stove. We baked plates of goodies
for neighbors, made ornaments out of dough art,
found a worthy cause to contribute to – all in anticipation of the holiday that
celebrates the birth of Christ. |
 The
’ol
tree-behind-the-couch trick isn’t
working in New Jersey this year |
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The kids grew up and moved away. One year – the year they both
got married and Shihoko, a Japanese exchange
student, came to live with us – we
rented a Sunriver
vacation cabin as our gift to each other.
We
put up a small tree and
entwined
it
with hundreds of twinkling white lights. Dinner was started, a fire was lit, and Shihoko built
a snowman in the front yard to welcome our married children.
Our
family photo that year
turned out to be one of my favorites
– everyone
laughing as I set the timer on the camera and ran through
3 feet
of snow to get in the picture.
For a while, we lived in the same town with our grandkidlets
and, once again, the season was seen through the eyes of children.
The munchkins helped me decorate – ornaments clustered together
at toddler level on the tree. We
spread frosting
and gumdrops on gingerbread houses,
read Christmas stories in front of the fireplace, made gift
coupons for their parents (“This
coupon good for emptying the trash”,
“This
coupon worth one hug”).
Now it’s
Christmas present and our kids and
grands live an entire continent away.
For the past few
years, Gary’s had to work the days before and after Christmas so
we’ve stayed close to home. We haven’t decorated much – a wreath
for the front door, a couple of stockings hung, maybe the tall
Christmas tree set up ... and maybe not (last year, a tiny tree on
the kitchen counter). What’s the purpose? I’m
too tired after work to decorate, to bake, to invite people
over. Bah, humbug!
But this year, I am happy to report, my
attitude has reformed. It seems as if we’re
coming out of a dry spell, as if there’s more hope in the air.
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The Christmas theme at our church is “Spend less; give more.”
The giving more opportunities include
contributing toward farm equipment for agricultural
projects that support the Loma de Luz hospital and
children’s home in Honduras; and contributing toward
those in need here in Central Oregon.
I like this concept.
So this
weekend, we put up
our Christmas tree and delivered thank-you
gift baskets to our Cancer Adventures board
members. We watched The Bishop’s Wife starring Cary
Grant (highly
recommended) and, with Christmas music
playing and snow falling,
I made an
Apple Walnut Crisp for no reason other
than the smell of apples and cinnamon baking is so Christmasy. |
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The makings of Apple Walnut Crisp |
Even
though I wish there would be children underfoot for the
holidays, I will reinstate some of the traditions of Christmases
past and help make this season merry and bright for my
sweetheart (that would be Gary) ... and anyone else who might happen to cross our
path.
Comment
Thursday, Dec
3, 2009
Civil War in the
Cancer Center
There is a Civil War about to kick off on the other side of the
mountains. Oregon plays Oregon State tonight with a shot at the
Rose Bowl. You’d think it wouldn’t affect the Cancer
Center in Bend, Oregon. But you’d be wrong.
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Today, radiation therapists were pitted against each
other; receptionist and social worker against the
physicist; operations manager against the cancer
database person.
Our boss showed up in green
and yellow … and orange and black. (The physicist
accused her of being politically correct.)
What I
did, though, was much worse than political
correctness. I wore orange and black because it’s
what I had in my wardrobe. |
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Civil
War comes to the Cancer Center |
To make up for my blatant hypocrisy, I’ll close with this
video.
Go, Ducks!
Comment
Tuesday, Dec 1,
2009
My life in
France
Before the movie Julie & Julia came out, I read the
companion books: My Life in France by Julia Child and
Julie & Julia by Julie Powell. Unless you like a book with a
liberal smattering of the “F” word and frequent references to
the sex lives of friends and co-workers, I couldn’t recommend
Julie Powell’s book. A shame, because Ms. Powell is witty.
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My Life in France,
on the other hand, is a great read. In 2003, at age 91, Julia
Child collaborated with her grandnephew Alex Prud’homme, a
writer. The book, written in Julia’s voice, is a delightful
journey – part love story, part history, and full of good humor
and respect for people from other cultures.
My Life in France
inspires – not just to cook, but to make the most of an
adventure and to dare to dream that you could do something as
audacious as, in her case, a TV cooking show without any
television background. And this, long before Food Network
worship.
The movie – based on these two stories – is classy,
entertaining, fun. Meryl Streep is fabulous as Julia Child,
which should be no surprise to anyone. |
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The message is one of my favorite mantras: Imagine that you
could do large, impossible things … and then roll up your
sleeves and work in the direction of your vision.
Comment
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November 2009
Empty cafeteria trays
A few of my favorite things
Counting eagles
America’s best and brightest
Thinking about
Large amounts of hope
Memories, milestones
Married to a very patient man
October 2009
Healing reins
Trail to nowhere
Above the fray
Knitting connections
Touching everything
Modern technology
Hot date spot
Red sock day
I got all my sisters with me
September 2009
Tenacious like a bulldog
Best years of my life
Now we should live
Across the high desert
50 things to do before you
die
Anticipation
Summer past and random
thoughts
Running to win
August 2009
Far cry from canned chili &
peas
Knight in shining armor
Berry-Peach Cobbler
Roller coaster rides
Celebrating life
Dan in Real Life
Ridiculous
Gift of life
Grant-writing retreat
July 2009
Heartsore
In the moment
Extended birthday present
River traffic
Munch & Music
Dealing with the paparazzi
Midnight cruise
Behind red doors
June 2009
Happy kind of exhausted
4:30am blog
Fat checkmarks
One of the benefits of cancer
Calm before the storm
Big picture thinking
May 2009
Back to the real world
Quick trip to the EC
Audacious living
Connecticut adventure
April 2009
Flat Stanley in Ory-gun
Baby steps
Four-day weekend
Soaring on wings
Sunbathing
C.O. style
Real men wear pink
Fun in the CTC
March 2009
Live like you were dying
Day jobs
Connected
CAN Cancer
The power of one
February 2009
It's official
Fun with the medical professionals
To my valentine
Moments in Jersey
January 2009
Leaving on a
jet plane
Scans ordered
Welcome to life
Insane residents
Back in high school
Engaged crowd
Out of the mouths of babes
Divine intervention
December 2008
Christmas
via webcam
A merry little
Christmas
Somewhere on purpose
Adventure and
romance
Celebrate life
Imagine
Men and menopause
November 2008
My Thanksgiving list
Thanksgiving
Eve
Roundabouts
How Starbucks
saved my life
Training for
Switzerland
Radio interview
Super colon
Thoughts on
being invisible
The speed of a turtle
October 2008
Obligation of
the cured
Cancer Adventures – the book
Blue and orange town
Hope Couture
First snow
Simple
pleasures are the best
128 quilts
September 2008
Whale watching
and kite flying
The new and relaxed Gary
The scenic
route
Packing the essentials
One step at a
time
PSA count celebration
August 2008
Frost in August
Reading list
Soaring Spirits
Checking in
9:30am rock band
Lingering
July 2008
Grand for a reason
Mickey Mouse
pancakes
Survivorship is all the rage
Follow your dreams
Birthday weekend
Only in America
Unrelated goose incident
June 2008
Geese
Road trip
Friday night date
Tough day on the job
Best dad
Confession
Light bulb moment
Homesick
Amazing volunteers
May
2008
Countdown
Extended family
Testing the limits
Trailblazers
The last lecture
Mother’s Day thoughts
Welcome to our world, Lydia
Personal touch
April 2008
Dispensing goodness
Cancer community – Part II
Cancer community
Barn
door analogies
Homemade soup day
Mice and tumors
Waiting room magazines
Weekend date
First entry
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