reflection

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010

End of the tunnel

There’s a light at the end of my tunnel – and her name is Nicky! Over four months ago, the Survivorship Coordinator position was vacated. I don’t remember raising my hand to do my old job and a new one, but somehow that’s exactly what happened. ;)

After a long, arduous process of back-filling part of my previous position, Nicky—the world’s best Cancer Services administrative assistant—is onboard.

When you work in a large hospital, there are only so many offices with windows to go around. I can’t begin to imagine how many food services people, schedulers, IT guys, nurses, docs, gift store people, etc, work in a windowless environment. Which is why I’m so excited about a window to day-dream out … er, I mean to glance out of occasionally as I work.
	Yes, the beautiful white stuff outside the windows is snow

So, a new job, new hours, a new office with real windows, perfectly wonderful co-workers … it just doesn’t get much better than this.

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Saturday, Jan 23, 2010

Disturbing the snow

Gary and I woke up to a blue-sky day with fresh snow and 21 degrees at Mt Bachelor. We threw on layers, tossed our snowshoes in the back of the SUV … and headed up the mountain to disturb some snow!

		(Hiking in the wilderness, you’re expected to stay on the trail so you don’t upset the natural flora and fauna. When it comes to snow-shoeing—other than staying out of cross-country ski tracks—going off the beaten path doesn’t disturb anything but the snow.) There’s not a lot of skill to snow-shoeing – it’s just walking in big shoes. But there is a huge difference between following the outlined groove where dozens of snow-shoers have gone before you … and breaking trail in soft, powdery stuff. The one is like taking a hike (taking a hike is a good thing), and the other is quite a work-out.
	Off the beaten track at Edison Sno-Park

I was thinking this morning what a good life Gary and I have – even with our series of setbacks – and how fun it was to be off the beaten track, disturbing some snow together!

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Wednesday, Jan 20, 2010

All good things must come to an end

We’re coming to the end of a season when we start talking about taking our Christmas wreath off our front door. Actually, I’m a bit early this year. There was the year Shihoko, our Japanese exchange student, lived with us and we kept the Christmas tree and all decorations up until the end of January. (Because of us, she thinks Americans have some strange traditions.)

My friend and co-worker, Julie, makes these beautiful live wreaths before Thanksgiving every year. This wreath has been hanging on our front door for close to eight weeks. When you divide the cost per week, it’s an awfully inexpensive way to add color and holiday cheer to one’s front porch! Alas, Gary says all good things must come to an end. So the wreath is coming down. But there’s good news – only 310 days until we hang a new wreath!   Comment
	All good things must come to an end

Friday, Jan 15, 2010

American mobile family

Last evening—in between checking e-mail and Facebook and playing Free Cell on his and hers laptops (you see how exciting our lives are)—Gary and I had a discussion about how mobile we are these days.

A few years back, we had kids and pets. We had a mortgage payment with a large yard. My job at a school was a 9-month commitment, and Gary had too much seniority and security to ever leave his job on purpose.

But today we’re renting the cutest little place, we gave away a good deal of our “married life accumulation” when we moved here, and the yard work is done for us. Gary is a house husband, and a good one, I might add. (My co-worker is jealous—“I want a man servant,” she whined the other day.)

		We have no land lines; we’re connected wirelessly to the World Wide Web; we bank online. If and when a unique opportunity comes up, we could have our few belongings packed and in storage, I could give two weeks’ notice at work, and we could be off to a new adventure anywhere in the world. We are an American mobile family!
	Have electronics, will travel

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Sunday, Jan 10, 2010

Get moving Earlier today, Gary and I improved our moods—not that they were bad to begin with—and boosted our energy levels. We took a hike at Smith Rock. I recently read an online article that lists seven benefits of exercise. In addition to the mood improving and energy boosting claims, did you know that regular exercise combats chronic diseases and promotes better sleep? (Gary and I plan to sleep well tonight.)
	Smith Rock State Park

There’s not much I’d rather do in my spare time than hike or snowshoe with Gary to new places, which is why we’re really looking forward to our Swiss Alps trek this summer.

The key to regularly exercising, I think, is to find something you enjoy doing, find someone you enjoy doing it with … and get moving!

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Wednesday, Jan 6, 2010

Any excuse for a date

If you’re in Portland and like fresh seafood in a fun atmosphere, try McCormick & Schmick’s – even the name is fun to say.

Gary and I spoke to a really terrific group of prostate cancer survivors and caregivers at Oregon Health & Science University yesterday evening. Afterward, we asked at our hotel if there was a good restaurant within walking distance. They sent us to McCormick and Schmick’s along the waterfront.
	McCormick & Schmick’s for great seafood

We returned home today in time for an afternoon at the office and an evening work-related meeting. I’m tired at the moment, but it was so worth the quick trip over the mountains.

Any excuse to bring hope to people living with cancer—to get them to laugh and to highlight central Oregon beauty—and any excuse for a date with Gary!

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Saturday, Jan 2, 2010

Much more than a sports flick A few weeks back, Gary and I caught a late afternoon showing of The Blind Side, starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw as a well-to-do couple that blended a homeless teenager from the Memphis projects, Michael Oher, into their family and helped him reach his full potential academically and athletically. We had read the book earlier, by the same title. The NFL history was interesting, beginning with Lawrence Taylor who delighted in creaming quarterbacks from their blind side, which changed the game of professional football and opened the door for someone with Oher’s size and athletic agility to be a first-round draft pick.

Yesterday we went to see the movie, Invictus (Latin for “unconquered”) starring Morgan Freeman as South African President Nelson Mandela and Matt Damon as captain of the national rugby team. If Blind Side is about the power of love and family to help someone reach their full potential, Invictus is about the power of forgiveness and choosing to remain unconquered in the darkest of circumstances.

The last stanza of a poem that spoke to Mandela while he was in prison reads: It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. I’ve had my moments of cynicism about similar statements, like Thoreau’s “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” Or “This is your time, this is your dance; live every moment; leave nothing to chance,” by Michael W. Smith. A few years ago, I wrote in my journal with bitterness: “There is no going confidently in the direction of my dreams when I am chained to a small cubicle for the best 40

hours of every week. Is this my time, my dance – shuffling papers in a cubicle? What is there to leave to chance? There are no choices here.”

As I worked through the discouragement of those dark days—of Gary’s unemployment, our financial reversals, his cancer diagnosis—it finally dawned on me that our dance and our opportunity to live life to the fullest is always the place where we are (I’m a slow learner).

I may not be the master of my fate in terms of real-time circumstances, but I am certainly in charge of what I fill my life with – forgiveness, gratitude, joy, finding purpose.

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December 2009

All the facts are true

No-el, No-whale

Mountain snob

Going to Hawaii

Finding our own way

It's just a number

Seasons of Christmas

Civil War in the CTC

My life in France

November 2009

Empty cafeteria trays

A few of my favorite things

Counting eagles

America’s best and brightest

Thinking about

Large amounts of hope

Memories, milestones

Married to a very patient man

October 2009

Healing reins

Trail to nowhere

Above the fray

Knitting connections

Touching everything

Modern technology

Hot date spot

Red sock day

I got all my sisters with me

September 2009

Tenacious like a bulldog

Best years of my life

Now we should live

Across the high desert

50 things to do before you die

Anticipation

Summer past and random thoughts

Running to win

August 2009

Far cry from canned chili & peas

Knight in shining armor

Berry-Peach Cobbler

Roller coaster rides

Celebrating life

Dan in Real Life

Ridiculous

Gift of life

Grant-writing retreat

July 2009

Heartsore

In the moment

Extended birthday present

River traffic

Munch & Music

Dealing with the paparazzi

Midnight cruise

Behind red doors

June 2009

Happy kind of exhausted

4:30am blog

Fat checkmarks

One of the benefits of cancer

Calm before the storm

Big picture thinking

May 2009

Back to the real world

Quick trip to the EC

Audacious living

Connecticut adventure

April 2009

Flat Stanley in Ory-gun

Baby steps

Four-day weekend

Soaring on wings

Sunbathing C.O. style

Real men wear pink

Fun in the CTC

March 2009

Live like you were dying

Day jobs

Connected

CAN Cancer

The power of one

February 2009

It's official

Fun with the medical professionals

To my valentine

Moments in Jersey

January 2009

Leaving on a jet plane

Scans ordered

Welcome to life

Insane residents

Back in high school

Engaged crowd

Out of the mouths of babes

Divine intervention

December 2008

Christmas via webcam

A merry little Christmas

Somewhere on purpose

Adventure and romance

Celebrate life

Imagine

Men and menopause

November 2008

My Thanksgiving list

Thanksgiving Eve

Roundabouts

How Starbucks saved my life

Training for Switzerland

Radio interview

Super colon

Thoughts on being invisible

The speed of a turtle

October 2008

Obligation of the cured

Cancer Adventures – the book

Blue and orange town

Hope Couture

First snow

Simple pleasures are the best

128 quilts

September 2008

Whale watching and kite flying

The new and relaxed Gary

The scenic route
Packing the essentials

One step at a time

PSA count celebration

August 2008

Frost in August

Reading list

Soaring Spirits

Checking in

9:30am rock band

Lingering

July 2008

Grand for a reason

Mickey Mouse pancakes

Survivorship is all the rage

Follow your dreams

Birthday weekend

Only in America

Unrelated goose incident

June 2008

Geese

Road trip

Friday night date

Tough day on the job

Best dad

Confession

Light bulb moment

Homesick

Amazing volunteers

May 2008

Countdown

Extended family

Testing the limits

Trailblazers

The last lecture

Mother’s Day thoughts

Welcome to our world, Lydia

Personal touch

April 2008

Dispensing goodness

Cancer community – Part II

Cancer community

Barn door analogies

Homemade soup day

Mice and tumors

Waiting room magazines

Weekend date

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