day in the life
Highlighting
the everyday life of a couple living well with a slow-growing cancer.
Life isn’t
always easy, and there will certainly be sorrows and losses
along the way. But being alive is good. It is very good.
|
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Geese
OK … this is
a stretch but work with me. I recently read a quote by Oswald
Chambers – “Your reach must exceed your grasp” – and thought
about how Gary and I have several dreams that we’re working
toward that seem way beyond our grasp … but we’re simple
enough to believe that if they’re God-inspired, then they’ll
happen.
|
|
|
We live in a place where the geese don’t seem to
want to fly south when the cold weather hits; in
fact they call their friends and they all hang out
in Bend for the winter. I’ve always loved the sound
of honking geese. If I’m outdoors when a gaggle
flies overhead, I stop and hold my breath, wondering
why they sometimes fly in Vs, and sometimes in Ws,
and sometimes in no discernible alphabet letter
formation at all. |
So … what do
geese and “exceeding our grasp” have in common? It’s the sound
of geese that brings to mind road trips and adventure … and what
Gary and I dream of doing involves road trips and adventure. We
want to take our tag-team presentation on the road … and get our
collection of cancer hero stories published … and eventually
have a place in the country with snow-capped
mountain views and hiking trails where people can come and be
refreshed and catch a vision of purposeful things they can do
with the rest of their lives. A place where geese will honk
overhead.
Every
time I hear that beautiful, melancholy
sound, my spirits are lifted and I’m reminded that anything is
possible, that the sky’s the limit.
Comment
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Road trip
Gary and I got home today from a busy 4-day weekend. We were in
Idaho to see his family and to meet
with the Cancer Services staff at St. Alphonsus Medical Center (fondly
referred to as St. Al’s). We also had an invitation to speak to
a group of survivors in Burns, Oregon on our way home.
|
Family.
We spent the first day at Gary’s brother’s ranch –
about an hour north of Boise. After an appetizing
dinner and catching up on family news, we all piled
into the 1950s Jeep and cruised the 2000-acre ranch.
Nothing beats bumping over the hills and meadows in
the back of a Jeep, counting deer and trying to
identify wildflowers.
|
|
|
We drove down into Boise on Sunday to stay with Gary’s mom.
She reminisced about her childhood –
growing up as one of nine children on a farm in northeastern
Arkansas. She met her husband-to-be, Jack, when he came to
Arkansas to help move his family out West. Not too long
afterward he proposed in a letter. She told him she wasn’t sure
… but he showed up to marry her
anyway. They were happily married with five children until Jack
died way too young of a heart attack.
St. Al's.
Gary and I had a Monday afternoon appointment at St. Al’s Cancer
Treatment Center. We met with three of their staff members – a
chaplain, social worker and cancer care guide. They were very
warm and personable, the kind of people
you’d like to have on your team if you were ever told you had
cancer. We ran through our
presentation, answered their questions, and were invited to
return in the fall to present to their survivor group.
Harney
District.
The original reason for this trip was an invitation to speak to
a group of cancer survivors at Harney District Hospital in
Burns. Eastern Oregon is a vast, high desert region considered
by some to be the nation’s last frontier. We have come to
appreciate the beauty and hardiness of this farm and ranch
country and the group of cancer
survivors we met last night – along with Tammy, their leader –
mirror that beauty and tenacity.
We love road trips … and we love sharing our story if it will
encourage other survivors to get plugged in and become proactive
in battling cancer. Here’s to many more road trips and meeting
many more terrific people!
Comment
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday night date
Usually around
the middle of each week, Gary asks, “So what are we going to do
for our Friday date this week?” I love it when he talks that
way!
|
|
|
|
Dates don’t have to be expensive to be fun. This
evening we ordered sandwiches
from one of our favorite delis
–
Roasted Turkey Reuben with sauerkraut,
melted Swiss, tomato and red onion on toasted rye
bread dripping with their special Reuben sauce. I
brought cut-up melons from home and we ate outdoors
by the river in view of the snow-covered mountains.
It doesn’t get much better than this. |
One of our
dating rules is we have to save up something interesting that
happened during the week to tell each other. The only problem
is, I can never save up
anything … I always tell Gary the same day that anything
interesting happens.
We walked
along the river after dinner and then came home to do laundry
and pack for our trip to Idaho tomorrow morning. Gary says we’re
leaving early. Early on a weekday morning is 5:00am, but
early on Saturday is much later, right?
When it comes
to road trips, Gary is a man on a mission.
For him, the object isn't necessarily
to enjoy the trip along the way, but to get there. And so
tomorrow we’ll leave early for Idaho and we’ll get there.
Which means I’d better go pack.
Comment
Monday, June 16, 2008
Tough day on the job
|
Today I left the office to attend a short awards
ceremony … and returned with windswept hair.
Immediately following the
ceremony at our local BMW dealership, my friend and
breast cancer survivor,
Lizzi Katz, asked if I
wanted to go with her for a ride in one of the
convertibles (a car, I might add, that is smarter
than I am). |
|
|
|
Test ride a
convertible Beamer? Seriously?
Today was the
day the fleet of 25 Ultimate Drive BMWs came to Bend on its tour
across the country. For every mile
test-driven, BMW North America donates $1 to the Susan G. Komen
for the Cure Foundation. In the eleven years BMW has been
partnering with Komen, they’ve donated nearly $12 million.
Riding around in BMW convertibles ... my
job is a tough one, but someone has to do it.
Comment
Sunday, June 15, 2008
|
Best dad
Today we
packed a picnic lunch and headed for
Paulina Lake
for a Father’s Day hike. There were patches
of snow on the ground at this 6,400-foot elevation,
but temps were in the 70s … and I have the sunburn
to prove it. |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
About halfway around the lake, we
stopped to share our lunch with one of the locals.
He liked our whole wheat crusts and the cashews and
almonds in our bars, but turned his nose up at the
watermelon.
|
We were tired
after the 7½-mile hike, but a good sort of tired. I can’t think
of a better way to spend Father’s Day when one’s children
live so far away. Which brings me to
Gary, the father of those children. I think one of the nicest
things I can say about Gary is that he’s the same at home as he
is in public. For nearly 35 years he has been consistently kind
and thoughtful; he has always put me and the kids first; he has
kept me laughing with his dry sense of humor. What more could a
girl ask for?!
Happy Father’s
Day, honey, to the best dad and husband I know!
Comment
Friday, June 13, 2008
Confession
It’s Friday
morning at 8:00 and I’m still in my pajamas. I have too many
hours at work this week so
I'm going
in a little late.
It promises to
be a gorgeous day after an extra lonnngg winter. The
nearby Cascade Mountains got another
dumping of snow this week and it’s been in the low 30s overnight
here in town, which is driving our local gardeners crazy.
I have a
confession to make: I don’t mind the
cold or the gray skies.
I have a
friend who calls me the winter woman. It’s because I love the
snow … and a fire burning in the fireplace … and the smell of
homemade soup simmering … and Christmas lights … and baking on a
cold winter day … and snowshoeing and … well, you get the point.
It’s not that
I don’t like the sunshine, but if it would just stay in the 70s
and 80s all summer I’d be perfectly content. It’s hard coming
home after work and heating the place up cooking dinner. I could
live on fresh fruit and yogurt for dinner all summer, but Gary
is much more demanding.
This morning I discovered another
reason why I’m sorry to see winter
make her exit. Dust. It stays hidden during the winter
and spring days and now all of a sudden it’s everywhere.
Sigh. (The fact that I haven’t dusted in
weeks might have something to do with it.)
I need to stop
and get ready for work, but this afternoon I will pull out my
dusting supplies, put shorts on over these glaring white legs,
and go forth into the sunshine and enjoy this day! Hope you do,
too.
P.S. Happy
birthday to our son, Jeremy, who along with Denise will be
enjoying Diamondbacks stadium fireworks and
a birthday dinner with friends from the
roof of their downtown Phoenix apartment!
Comment
Monday, June 09, 2008
Light bulb moment
I’ve had an epiphany since yesterday’s blog. While I was
journaling this morning, it hit me that
it’s not just
about wanting to live near our children; it’s about wanting to
impact others as a family.
We raised our
two children to take their interests
and skills and look for something to do with their lives that
would benefit others. Our son, Jeremy, had his own darkroom in
high school and I remember conversations with him about what it
would look like to use his
photography skills to make a difference in the world. Jeremy
and his wife, Denise, had opportunity to travel to Uganda where
they shot video and still photos in orphanages. They came home
with the vision of raising funds to help older orphans get a
secondary education
or learn a trade; to help fund the placement of African
orphans in American families, keeping siblings together as much
as possible.
Our
son-in-law, Josh, is a pastor with a gift for teaching and life
coaching. Together with a friend, he has produced some
professional “visual aid” videos. Our daughter, Summer, is very
family-oriented and insightful and loves to
write. She isn’t shy about sharing her opinions; give
her any topic and she’ll tell you what she thinks!
And of course
Gary and I—because we could have used some encouragement and
guidance when we were just beginning our cancer journey—have a
passion to encourage newly-diagnosed cancer patients in a
variety of practical ways.
What would it
look like to have some sort of family non-profit? Perhaps a
guest ranch that could be used for various activities – where
newly-diagnosed cancer patients could get started on a moderate
exercise regime and learn how to cook
nutritious meals; where families of
adopted African orphans could enjoy the great
outdoors, share their experiences, and
learn a little more about the African culture out of which their
child(ren) came; where life coaching
and parenting/family skills could be taught
through seminars and Internet writing and video venues.
Actually, the possibilities are endless.
We want our grandchildren to
grow up thinking this is the most normal way to live – to spend
one’s life giving back to the hurting and discouraged and less
fortunate. Which is part of why I'd love to
have them all underfoot!
Comment
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Homesick
I’m writing
this from the Chicago O’Hare Airport. I’ve been teary-eyed ever
since Summer dropped me off in Philly
early this morning and I took one last
peak at Lydia, our Sleeping Beauty. I’m OK emotionally if I
don’t think about how far away we live from them. But the minute
I start thinking, the tears roll down my cheeks. Even now.
|
|
It was a wonderful week – the only
thing that would have made it better is if Gary
could have joined us.
Lydia is so beautiful and sweet-tempered and makes
the most delightful baby noises. I got in as much
cuddling time with her as possible.
I loved helping with the laundry, the dishes, the
diaper-changing. I loved reading bedtime stories and
playing card games. |
|
|
|
Lilly and I gave each other pedicures, and
while she was in school Titus and I
visited the
playground where squirrels played hide and seek and ducks landed
in the nearby swimming pool.
|
|
|
|
We
all spent one afternoon on
the Jersey shore and another afternoon picking
strawberries at a nearby farm
(the picture at left shows Lydia's part in
strawberry picking!). The
kids and I shooed the parents off on a Friday
night date and then we dipped
strawberries in melted
chocolate and indulged to our heart’s
content.
Half in jest and half seriously, Josh
& Summer
talked about buying a big house
— the historic area
in and around where they live is littered with |
|
lovely old homes with
large
front porches. Gary and I would take the top floor
because we would want the exercise. Summer claimed
the bottom floor because she would have the most
groceries to haul in. That leaves the second floor
for Jeremy and Denise (fat chance of getting them to
leave Arizona for New Jersey!).
There is an
ache in my chest … a sort of homesickness, only I don’t know
where I’m homesick for. I guess I’m just homesick to have
husband, children and grands all gathered nearby.
But Summer’s in-laws live in Des
Moines and I’m sure they feel the same ache … and it’s just not
possible to resolve all the aches of all the mothers in the
world.
And so we
accept our lot for now, but
that doesn't mean I'm not going to
keep scheming about ways to
connect with our children and grandchildren as often as possible!
Comment
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Amazing volunteers
I’m exhausted
after this full weekend … but a good sort of exhausted.
This year’s Heaven Can Wait 5K breast cancer walk/run had a
record number of participants – over 3,200 – and raised several
thousand dollars more than last year’s event.
After the dust has settled, the thing that stands out most in my
mind is the volume of amazing volunteers who helped pull off
such a successful event – many of them cancer survivors. I’d
have to get out a calculator to add up the people who helped me
with pre-race deliveries, mailings and phone calls; manned
tables of give-away products and helped with merchandise sales;
and showed up at the park early this morning to help set up
under the big tent. There were dozens of people who helped with
registration, procured food and prizes, marked the race course,
emptied garbage cans and gave chair massages.
Gary, of course, shadowed me all weekend and even tried his hand
at merchandise sales (he endeavored to convince more than one
woman that the pink aprons with brown logos would make great
Father’s Day gifts!). One of my volunteers –
through with chemo but just
beginning radiation – worked for several hours on Saturday
and Sunday and then thanked me several times for letting
her volunteer. Go figure!
Is our town of Bend blessed with an inordinate amount of giving
people? Are cancer survivors especially big-hearted? Or is there
something about working together in
community toward a good cause that is
part of living strong?
I think maybe all of the above.
Comment
|
