reflection

Saturday, Nov 28, 2009

Empty cafeteria trays

Counting my blessings this long Thanksgiving weekend. We’ve been in Idaho surrounded by family and good food, college football playing out on television, and lots of conversations and laughter.

I think the balance is having gratitude for the “so much” that is a normal part of our everyday lives and looking for opportunities to be in service.

Which reminds me of a story a friend told from his college days: It seems he and his buddies went through the cafeteria line without taking any food … and then sat with empty trays in protest of world hunger. “But,” our friend pointed out, “empty cafeteria trays don’t feed hungry people.” You have to get up and do something.

We are part of a family that has given generously and been in service at various times and places around the world – a good heritage passed down through the generations, which is just one more thing I’m grateful for this special time of year.

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Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009

These are a few of my favorite things

Our house smells deliciously of cinnamon and nuts and oats baking. I’m making granola. I know, I know … it’s such an Oregon thing to do, right up there with Birkenstocks and tree-hugging (only, we don’t own any Birkenstocks and we’ve never hugged a tree).   The smell of something cinnamon-y baking is one of my favorite things. Along with moonlit canoe trips, and snow falling, cuddling with grandchildren, sipping Chai tea, road trips,	Oregon-made granola

knitting winter scarves for people I love, clear blue hiking days, reading by the fireplace, conversations with Gary and our adult children, weekends at the coast ... actually, the list is quite long.

Tonight is Friday although the calendar says Tuesday, which is also one of my favorite things. Tomorrow, instead of going to work, Gary and I are headed east to Idaho to spend Thanksgiving surrounded by family ...needless to say, another favorite thing and something we haven’t done in a while because Gary’s worked the day after Thanksgiving for the past few years.

But you want to know the best favorite thing of all?! The dark cancer cloud on the horizon has moved further away (see Nov 8 blog).

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving with lists of favorite things so long, you can’t see the end.

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Saturday, Nov 21, 2009

Counting eagles

There’s a place where the Deschutes River empties out of Crane Prairie Reservoir on its way to Wickiup. We packed a lunch and dressed in layers (the temperature in town didn’t get above 38 degrees today) ... and went eagle-counting.

There were at least a dozen eagles hanging out in the tall trees across the river, swooping low over the water looking for a fresh salmon catch. Gary shot photos until his fingers were numb, while I, trusty photographer assistant, polished off my lunch.  

Gary captured at least a dozen eagles on film today

Speaking of 38 degree temps, what better excuse to put a pot of homemade soup on to simmer and try a new scone recipe when we got home. According to my friend, Anita with the lovely British accent who immigrated to the US as a young nurse, proper English scones are not hard and triangular like what you would find at Starbux, but soft and round and oftentimes served with soup ... much like a flavored biscuit, says Anita.

So keeping with the season, I found a pumpkin-flavored scone recipe that featured cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger. Hot out of the oven, we broke them open and ate them with butter and honey alongside bowls of chicken vegetable soup.

Pumpkin Spice Scones

Gary, being the expert meteorologist, just looked outdoors and reported that it’s snowing. Is there any wonder why this is my favorite time of year?! Snow falling, hot Pumpkin Spice Scones, homemade soup, counting eagles ... it just doesn’t get much better than this!

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Friday, Nov 20, 2009

America’s best and brightest

Gary and I spoke to 40+ of America’s best and brightest yesterday afternoon. They laughed at all the right places, asked great questions, even let us poke fun of them a little: So, did you all call each other this morning and say, “Wear your green scrubs!”?

		Our audience was a group of first-year nursing students. In our former life, we hosted groups of high schoolers and college-age young people on camping trips and ski weekends and European and Australian adventures ... and have loved every minute of it. (Well, maybe not every minute, like the time I had to find my way back to our hotel via the Paris subway system with a student who
	Really hoping we don’t get sued

forgot to bring her diabetes meds and was losing it fast ... or the time in Frankfurt when they weren’t going to let one of my international students on the plane back to America because her visa had expired and I had to stay behind to find the American embassy and get this girl’s visa fixed. And then there was the time ... wait a minute, I’m off point.)

The point is, a good deal of the young people we’ve known personally are amazingly terrific and visionary ... and joking around with this class of nursing students reminded us of the potential and energy young people have for making a difference in the world, especially those who have chosen a career path of compassionate service.

Side note: We didn’t bring a camera to yesterday’s presentation; the photo above was borrowed from a college Web site. Be assured, though, that the Bend, Oregon nursing students were just as happy looking as this group of students. We’re really hoping we don’t get sued for this.

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Tuesday, Nov 17, 2009

Thinking about

It was a fun adventure – navigating the subways and streets of The City, not as tourists, but as appointment-keepers. We had places to go and people to meet!

We just returned from New York where we spoke to an engaged group of survivors at Gilda’s Club, and the next day met with personnel at CancerCare, the nation’s longest-running cancer organization. The Director of the Men’s Cancers programs made the comment about how much more effective our message is coming from someone who is actually living it. I love that this social worker with lots of initials after his name gets that. (They talked about hosting a survivorship event in March 2010 where we would be guest presenters.)

Opening day of the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall

Our grandkids took us to Radio City Music Hall’s Christmas Spectacular, which was ... well, spectacular. And then Saturday was all grandkids, all day. Breakfast out, up-for-adoption puppies at Petco, a visit with Santa while Mrs. Claus chatted on her cell phone (only in Jersey), Barnes & Noble books and hot beverages.

	Mrs. Claus on her cell phone

And in between, we planted ourselves on the living room floor at eye level with the littlest munchkin, who kept us entertained with her antics and constant stream of chatter. Favorite thing to do: climb up on a chair and hold her arms up, saying, “More down!” which means, I want down so I can climb back up.

“More down!”

They say if you draw a 50-mile radius around where our adult children live, about 10 percent of the U.S. population lives within that circle. Other than the fact that Gary’s family would never speak to us again, how much sense does it make to be based close to a dense population (not to mention the grandkids) where there are so many organizations doing so many good things for people dealing with cancer?

And so Gary and I are thinking about moving to NYC, only Gary doesn’t know it yet. I’ll let you know how that goes. ;)

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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009

Large amounts of hope

I heard Gary describe this week’s meeting with Dr. Beer at Oregon Health & Science University to one of my co-workers: “There’s this dark cloud that hangs off in the horizon, and now it’s moved further away.”

At Tuesday’s appointment, we learned there are a few other options before Gary would have to consider chemo, including some promising drugs that are starting through the FDA approval process.

So much hope dispensed in just one short hour.

Coming back to work after being out of the office for two days is always a challenge – stacks of stuff on my desk, way too many e-mail and v-mail, a meeting that lasted too long on Wednesday evening.

And then there’s the rewarding and fun part of my job – such as this week’s set-up for the annual Wendy’s Wish holiday boutique.

The mission of Wendy’s Wish is to improve quality of life for cancer patients by providing assistance with non-medical living expenses. Because of the dedication of this team, the Cancer Treatment Center has been able to assist patients with utility bills, rent, gas cards, grocery cards and other miscellaneous living expenses while undergoing treatment.
	Wendy's Wish holiday boutique fundraiser

My hat, if I were wearing one, is off to Al Huntley and all the worker bees on the team. Part of my job in the CTC involves being the face of the hospital to this group of dedicated people. But it is more than just a job. Gary and I joined Al & Marcia Huntley and the full team at Old Towne Pizza last night in a celebratory dinner following another successful fundraising boutique. We were honored to be in such company.

Bend, Oregon is an amazing community full of big-hearted people. There are many touched by cancer, like those on the Wendy’s Wish team, that are going about the business of showing compassion and providing hope to others dealing with this disease.

There’s that word again: hope.

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Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009

Making memories, marking milestones We took a long walk on the beach and clambered over the large boulders on the north jetty that protects the channel into Yaquina Bay.   It’s a blue sky day here on the Oregon coast and we are creating a memory that marks a miraculous milestone – the end of Gary’s day job.
	North jetty at Yaquina Bay - Newport, Oregon

I just finished reading a book by Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. The author writes about our lives as story. When the credits roll at the end, will people leave the theater inspired or bored? Will our story show that we amassed a house and a couple of cars and some really cool toys ... or that we lived an adventure and built strong relationships?

“We have to get off the couch and turn the television off,” writes Miller. “We have to blow up the inner-tubes and head to the river. We have to write the poem and deliver it in person. ... We have to put on our suits; we have to dance at weddings.”

		And so Gary and I took advantage of a generous gift certificate and made spur-of-the-moment plans for two days in Newport – the scenic route on our way to an appointment at OHSU with Dr. Beer this afternoon.   We had Mo’s famous clam chowder for dinner, and caught the moon on camera from one of the piers overlooking Yaquina Bay.
	Moon over Yaquina Bay

We brought our hiking boots, a knitting project, binoculars and books. We propped our stockinged feet up in front of the fireplace and have been reading and writing and watching for whale sightings – so far only a lone sea gull on our deck railing.   We’re making memories and marking a milestone on our way to larger adventures. And there’s nothing like unhurried time at the ocean to inspire.

Early morning visitor looking for hand-outs

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Sunday, Nov 1, 2009

Married to a very patient man

Gary lied to me.  He said we could get up at our leisure and leave whenever we felt like it. But he’s put his overnight bag in the vehicle and just asked if the laptop was ready to go. Obviously he can’t see that I’m still typing on it.

It’s 7:30am. We can’t check into the hotel on the coast until 4:00pm. Given it’s only a 4-hour drive over the Cascades, across the valley and through the coastal range, I figure I’ve got plenty of time.   I’m still in my pajamas, sipping a cup of orange spice tea and writing in my journal. My bag is half packed.
	Half-packed bag

Gary’s last day at Nature’s General Store was Friday and they gave him a gift certificate for two nights on the Oregon coast. So, with a quick call to my boss’s cell phone to change my requested days off, we are spending tonight and tomorrow night in Newport. On Tuesday, we’ll swing by Oregon Health & Science University for an appointment with Dr. Beer, the prostate cancer researcher who told us that Gary would probably qualify for one of his clinical trials.

I’m married to a very patient man. Gary will never say, “When are you going to be ready?” But he’ll rattle the keys in his pocket, maybe even open the garage door and start the engine as a way of saying, “Are we ready yet?”

So I’m thinking I’d better get going, even though I’m not sure how he’s planning to fill in all the spare time before we can check in. But I’ll let him worry about that because he has taken good care of me all these years. I’m coming, honey!

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October 2009

Healing reins

Trail to nowhere

Above the fray

Knitting connections

Touching everything

Modern technology

Hot date spot

Red sock day

I got all my sisters with me

September 2009

Tenacious like a bulldog

Best years of my life

Now we should live

Across the high desert

50 things to do before you die

Anticipation

Summer past and random thoughts

Running to win

August 2009

Far cry from canned chili & peas

Knight in shining armor

Berry-Peach Cobbler

Roller coaster rides

Celebrating life

Dan in Real Life

Ridiculous

Gift of life

Grant-writing retreat

July 2009

Heartsore

In the moment

Extended birthday present

River traffic

Munch & Music

Dealing with the paparazzi

Midnight cruise

Behind red doors

June 2009

Happy kind of exhausted

4:30am blog

Fat checkmarks

One of the benefits of cancer

Calm before the storm

Big picture thinking

May 2009

Back to the real world

Quick trip to the EC

Audacious living

Connecticut adventure

April 2009

Flat Stanley in Ory-gun

Baby steps

Four-day weekend

Soaring on wings

Sunbathing C.O. style

Real men wear pink

Fun in the CTC

March 2009

Live like you were dying

Day jobs

Connected

CAN Cancer

The power of one

February 2009

It's official

Fun with the medical professionals

To my valentine

Moments in Jersey

January 2009

Leaving on a jet plane

Scans ordered

Welcome to life

Insane residents

Back in high school

Engaged crowd

Out of the mouths of babes

Divine intervention

December 2008

Christmas via webcam

A merry little Christmas

Somewhere on purpose

Adventure and romance

Celebrate life

Imagine

Men and menopause

November 2008

My Thanksgiving list

Thanksgiving Eve

Roundabouts

How Starbucks saved my life

Training for Switzerland

Radio interview

Super colon

Thoughts on being invisible

The speed of a turtle

October 2008

Obligation of the cured

Cancer Adventures – the book

Blue and orange town

Hope Couture

First snow

Simple pleasures are the best

128 quilts

September 2008

Whale watching and kite flying

The new and relaxed Gary

The scenic route
Packing the essentials

One step at a time

PSA count celebration

August 2008

Frost in August

Reading list

Soaring Spirits

Checking in

9:30am rock band

Lingering

July 2008

Grand for a reason

Mickey Mouse pancakes

Survivorship is all the rage

Follow your dreams

Birthday weekend

Only in America

Unrelated goose incident

June 2008

Geese

Road trip

Friday night date

Tough day on the job

Best dad

Confession

Light bulb moment

Homesick

Amazing volunteers

May 2008

Countdown

Extended family

Testing the limits

Trailblazers

The last lecture

Mother’s Day thoughts

Welcome to our world, Lydia

Personal touch

April 2008

Dispensing goodness

Cancer community – Part II

Cancer community

Barn door analogies

Homemade soup day

Mice and tumors

Waiting room magazines

Weekend date

First entry